A column about writing a column on sex and violence?

I’ve been writing newspaper articles and columns for the better part of 45 years now. I’ve written for the Scottsdale Progress, The Arizona Republic, The Californian, The Temecula Valley News, and, of course my favorite, The Valley Business Journal, to name a few. Sometimes it’s easy—write a 300-word column on housing, write a restaurant review, write about legislative issues, write about fraud. Those are easy, you’ve got a topic to work with, you’ve got the data to support it, you’ve done the research, you’ve got a deadline, and you write.

But how about when you don’t have a specific topic to cover but deadline is approaching? I mean, this publication only asks for one little article and gives me a month to come up with something. Sheesh, I used to have weekly deadlines for one or two articles and managed to pull it off while I held down a real job. Today I’m retired, and it seems like a deadline is looming every time I turn around—like this month, with no pithy ideas on what to write about.

Oh, I could write another article about fraud again—that’s been a staple for too many years and never goes away. Maybe another soft and fuzzy piece about snowfall, or wild critters, or the high lonesome—folks seem to like those. I’ve written some Pulitzer worthy pieces about immigration, the United Nations, and the demise of our Republic, only to be reminded that this is a business publication not an arm of the lamestream media. So, drawing a blank and with deadline approaching, I decided to write an article about writing an article. It’s called punting when you have writer’s block, but it might just come in handy for some fledgling writers.

I know some of you are relatively new to the idea of promoting yourself or your business in print. As a result, some articles are written by a corporate flack and, while they might convey the nuts and bolts of your business, they lack the thing that sets your business apart: YOU! I’ve also seen articles written by, Heaven Forbid, AI. It’s easy: you just tell the prompt what you want to write about and seconds later you have a computer-generated piece written in generalities about your subject matter. They tell me it’s the future – meh, what do I know? Generally, pretty bland with even less of what your customers want: YOU!

So, what goes into writing an article? Well, a good headline or title is necessary to convey what you will be talking about while catching their attention. Short, catchy, and you can always reference sex and violence even if your article has neither. It’s kind of like watching a TV show that warns about nudity only to reach the end and realize they were talking about a long distance shot of some guy’s butt. But you watched the show and you read the article, just waiting for it. Yes, you did. You might also wait until you’ve finished the article to select a headline. Sometimes they write themselves out of some comment you made or a point that reinforces.

The actual process starts with a spark—something about you and your business that begs to be explored, teased apart, and presented in a way that resonates with your prospective customers. You’ve got to pick a topic that they will find interesting, of value, and timely. Tax advice in July isn’t timely. A puff piece about what a wonderful person you are might be interesting, but does it add value to your product or service? For some of you, it wouldn’t even be that interesting.

See, that little aside right there is pure ME. You talk a certain way, certain mannerisms, idioms of speech, your PERSONALITY. When people read your article, they can hear YOU saying it, and it resonates. Neither corporate speak nor AI can capture YOU. Even if you’re going to submit a pre-written article or an AI-generated column, take a few minutes to sit down and interject a little of yourself into the piece. This means thinking about your audience, tone, and the kind of information or entertainment the piece will deliver. The task can often feel like a balancing act, offering personal perspective while inviting others into the conversation. It’s just like you talking, but on paper.

Next comes the actual writing. Some columns start with a question, while others open with a story or a personal anecdote. I’m big on those. Regardless, the goal is always clarity and engagement. You’ve got to ‘grab ‘em.’ You’ve got maybe a paragraph to make a reader want to finish the piece. A column should be concise—not too long, not too short—and each paragraph should build upon the last, gradually leading the reader to a thoughtful conclusion, a reason to buy, a call to action. Revising is also crucial, as it allows you to sharpen arguments, clarify points, and weed out unnecessary verbiage and tangents. Heck, I’ll re-write this thing four or five times and still have plenty of tangents and non-sequiturs, but that’s me.

Of course, writing a column about writing a column adds an extra layer of self-reflection. Whether I intended to or not, I had to examine both the subject and how to structure the article. It forced me to consider what makes columns compelling, not that this one is, and how do we connect with our readers? If I’ve conveyed anything here, I think the key is to be honest, be specific, and be YOURSELF (Unless you cuss a lot. That’s not allowed.).

In the end, the process is both challenging and rewarding—transforming a blank page into a space for dialogue, reflection, and discovery. (AI wrote that last line. Punchy, eh?)