A: It can be incredibly difficult when a loved one resists seeking treatment for substance abuse. Here are some ways to approach the conversation with care, understanding, and effectiveness:
1. Express Concern with Love, Not Judgment
Instead of blaming or criticizing, express your concerns with empathy. Use “I” statements, such as:
- “I’m really worried about you, and I care about your well-being.”
- “I’ve noticed some changes in you that concern me, and I want to support you.”
2. Listen Without Arguing
They may be defensive, but avoid debating or forcing the issue. Let them express their fears and feelings while you listen without judgment.
3. Provide Specific Examples
Mention specific incidents where their substance use has caused problems, such as:
- “Last week, you missed an important event because you weren’t feeling well. That really worried me.”
- “I’ve noticed you’re struggling with work/school, and I think the drinking/using might be playing a role.”
4. Offer Solutions, Not Ultimatums
Instead of threats like “If you don’t get help, I’m done with you,” try:
- “I’ll go with you to talk to someone if that would help.”
- “Would you be open to just one conversation with a professional?”
5. Acknowledge Their Fears and Barriers
Many resist treatment due to fear of withdrawal, stigma, or denial of the problem. Address these concerns gently:
- “I understand that getting help feels overwhelming, but you don’t have to do this alone.”
- “There are different options that can fit what you’re comfortable with.”
6. Set Healthy Boundaries
If their substance use is affecting you, setting boundaries is crucial. This could be:
- Not enabling their behavior (e.g., not giving them money).
- Limiting interactions if their behavior is harmful.
- Communicating that you’ll support recovery but not destructive habits.
7. Get Support for Yourself
Dealing with a loved one’s addiction is tough. Consider support groups like Al-Anon, Nar-Anon, CODA or therapy to help you navigate this process.
Feel free to email your own questions regarding substance abuse to erin@hillrecovery.com or reach out to Hill Alcohol and Drug Treatment today at 951-719-3685 for a free consultation.
Hill Recovery is a family-owned drug addiction rehab center established in 1986. We provide successful drug and alcohol treatment for adults and adolescents in the Temecula Valley and surrounding areas. We are state licensed, CARF accredited, and in network with most insurance companies. Day, evening, and weekend hours available.