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Romance 101: Self-Love

The famous poet, Oscar Wilde, said it best: “To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.” I’m sure you’ve heard it – love yourself! You’re thinking, “Okay, but how? And why?” You have others to care for. Do they fall to the wayside in the wake of your self-love journey? What are the benefits? That is the beauty of self-love, and its sidekick, self-care. The love you cultivate for yourself is not only so important for your overall well being, but it is great at improving your relationships with others. Let’s explore, shall we?

The difference between self-care and selfish.
Self-care is often confused with selfishness. Here’s the difference: Self-care is honoring your needs for your overall well-being. Selfishness is lacking consideration for others and doing something purely for your personal gain. You care for yourself so you can better care for others. Whose oxygen mask goes on first? Yours. Is putting your oxygen mask on first selfish? It’s dramatic, I know, but you get the picture. When you are taken care of, it becomes much easier for you to handle everything life throws at you. That being said, it isn’t all bubble baths and wine. Sometimes it’s hard work to put your foot down and say no to what does not serve you.

A loving relationship starts with you.
Who or what validates you? I bet you are the last person on that list. Having a strong relationship with yourself is the key to self-love. It comes from within, not an outside source. Why? People come and go. We can lose friends, lovers, or family in a heartbeat. Relying on others for happiness is straining to your self-worth. Begin to give yourself affirmations. By creating a strong relationship and trust with YOU, you allow others to respect and love you as you love yourself. You won’t settle. You will be more open to accepting love.

Having self-love increases your ability to love others, and when you love yourself, you will care for yourself in the ways that you deserve because you worked for it.

Written by Monique deGroot

Monique deGroot is the owner of Murrieta Day Spa in Murrieta.

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